Profanity & Forgiveness.

Do you have a hard time listening to the profanity spoken by friends or in your 12 Step meetings?
The Good Book says that a profane word spoken crushes the heart of the listener. So how do we deal with the words that offend us.
Perhaps we judge to fast.
Also, What happens to those of us who have been violated by another when the one who wronged us attempts to make amends and we refuse to forgive them.
I encourage you to listen to this weeks Saturday show. Visit www.Take12Radio.com

God of the living-room

OK, this is the thing. I am going to pick on the number one god in peoples lives with the exception of themselves, THE T.V. SET.
OH’ no, Monty is going to attack my TV. Yep, Your right, but know this, I speak this way because I have been there, worshiping the TV set like it was some Power to be bowed down to.
We depend a great deal on our little one eyed monster. We look to it for some of the following things……..
1. Entertainment, 2. Information, 3. Gossip, 4. Baby Sitting,
5. Relaxation, 6. Advertisement, 7. To make us feel good about ourselves,
8. Counseling, 9. Shopping, 10. Pornography, 11. Help to sleep,
12. Help to wake up, 13, Politics, 14. To escape reality. 15. To keep us company, and the list goes on and on.
And if that were not enough, we not only watch the silly thing an average of 10.5 hours a day, but we go out and purchase bigger and more powerful ones to not only spend more time watching, but now the thing is filling up 30% of our living room. It is taller than we are and wider than our family car. It’s the first thing we look to when we come home from work, and the last thing we turn off before we go to bed. It spews forth profanity, and promotes violence. It has no respect for our children and demands our loyalty over our families.
The average family spends more than 400.00 per year on the TV in one way or another, from repairs, TV guides, Pay TV and so on. Some folks even spend as much as 1000.00 a year to make the TV the main part of their Home Entertainment System.
If these facts don’t cause you to stop and make some changes, perhaps you have become what I call a “TUBE”. That is a person who is obsessed with the TV.

Application & Implementation

1. If your TV sits center stage in your living room, replace it with a TV half its size and sit it off to one side so it isn’t the center of focus, or the biggest thing in your living room.
2. If you have one of those Big Giant Monsters in your home, sell the silly thing or better yet blow it up, they are a blast to watch explode. Go out and buy a much smaller one to put in another room in your home other than the main room of activity. Take the extra money you’ll save after buying the smaller TV, and take your spouse on a cruise, or your family to Disney Land. Go back packing; donate it to your home group or something. Do something as a family.
3. Disconnect the cable and hook up your VCR or DVD player to the TV set, It makes it a little harder to just plop down and channel surf.
4. And last, don’t watch anything that you wouldn’t let your kids watch. If your kids are grown, use the same policy as if they were still at home. It all depends on how much you want your family home life to change. It won’t fix everything in your family, but it will be a healthy start.
Let God be God and not a box of foolishness.
Oh and if you really must see a show on a big screen, take your family out to see a movie once a week, it cost less than a credit card payment and it’s much more family oriented.
Serenity for You.
~Monty’man

Beauty is the Promise of Happiness

I believe it was Stendhal who said “Beauty is the promise of happiness.”

Today I was reading a book called “Answers in the Heart” a daily meditation for men and women who are recovery from sexual addictions. In one of its chapters it read:

Often we are too busy or self-absorbed to notice what is beautiful in people & in the world around us. We hurry along focused on ourselves, inattentive to what really makes life worth living.

I couldn’t agree more.

The world is filled with beauty – twilight over a lake, a child’s laughter, a scene in a movie, the sun on a stone wall, a weeping willow, a lively song, our beloved’s face. If we are attentive & learn to slow down, we will see all around us signs of beauty that speak directly to us.

We do not have to go to exotic places to find beauty. It is here, in our lives, all around us. Finding it, we carry it with us & our lives are enriched. The language of beauty is the language of joy.

Application and Implementation
As I become more attentive to the beauty that is all around me, I find my life becoming happier & more deeply spiritual.

This week I will stop praying so hard for my character defects & difficulties to be removed. Instead I will rest in the fact that God has my life in His hands, if I will allow Him to carry me I can take the time to see His beauty all around me.

How can this not bring me a spirit of happiness?

This is Monty’man wishing

“Serenity For You!

managing fear and anxiety

For the next several weeks I am publishing 5 articles on my Blog by one of my past guest Stan Popovice.
I think you will find these extremely useful.

If you do please forward them to as many folks that you feel would benefit from them.

Here is a bit about Stan:

Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods” – an easy to read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. You can visit his web site at: http://www.managingfear.com/

MANAGING YOUR PERSISTENT FEARS, ANXIETIES, AND STRESSES

A REVIEW OF TECHNIQUES IN MANAGING DEPRESSION

MANAGING THE FEAR AND ANXIETY OF THE UNKNOWN

NEVER LOSE HOPE IN DEALING WITH YOUR FEARS AND ANXIETIES

WHEN SOMEONE YOU KNOW STRUGGLES WITH FEAR, ANXIETY AND STRESS
_____________________________________________________________________

This Week: MANAGING YOUR PERSISTENT FEARS, ANXIETIES, AND STRESSES

Everybody deals with anxiety and depression, however some people have a difficult time in managing it. As a result, here is a brief list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their most persistent fears and every day anxieties.

When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, the first thing you can do is to divide the task into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

Sometimes we get stressed out when everything happens all at once. When this happens, a person should take a deep breath and try to find something to do for a few minutes to get their mind off of the problem. A person could get some fresh air, listen to some music, or do an activity that will give them a fresh perspective on things.

A person should visualize a red stop sign in their mind when they encounter a fear provoking thought. When the negative thought comes, a person should think of a red stop sign that serves as a reminder to stop focusing on that thought and to think of something else. A person can then try to think of something positive to replace the negative thought.

Another technique that is very helpful is to have a small notebook of positive statements that makes you feel good. Whenever you come across an affirmation that makes you feel good, write it down in a small notebook that you can carry around with you in your pocket. Whenever you feel depressed or frustrated, open up your small notebook and read those statements. This will help to manage your negative thinking.

Learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. You never know when the answers you are looking for will come to your doorstep. We may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.

Take advantage of the help that is available around you. If possible, talk to a professional who can help you manage your depression and anxieties. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. By talking to a professional, a person will be helping themselves in the long run because they will become better able to deal with their problems in the future. Remember that it never hurts to ask for help.

Dealing with our persistent fears is not easy. Remember that all you can do is to do your best each day, hope for the best, and take things in stride. Patience, persistence, education, and being committed in trying to solve your problem will go along way in fixing your problems.

I hope this weeks article will be helpful.
You may think these tools a tad silly, but have you tried them? remember “contemp prior to investigation”
Now go try these idea out. They may surprise you.

Serenity for You!
The monty’man

Fighting Change

One thing certain is change. At times it feels like things are changing around me at a dizzying pace.
At the same time change seems so slow to happen inside me. There are many things I would like to see different inside but the change is either too painful, too difficult or too scary. There are habits I can’t seem to break. Change is hard to come by.

St. Paul said “For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”

Sometimes my response is one of denial. “Changes? I don’t see any need for changes. Everything’s fine!”

Denial is one way we get “stuck” in the past and become unable to cope with changes. The world changes and people around us change. But we get left behind because we have stuck our heads in the proverbial sand. It’s comfortable for awhile but it can become stifling. We have to come up for air, but that can be a difficult and anxiety producing process.

Our resistance to change creates fear and anger, even depression. We worry about change. We fight the inevitable. We desperately need someone we can trust to help us move out of the past into the future … without losing everything we hold dear.

When we begin to risk exploring a change, it’s as if we are starting all over again. Everything we have learned or achieved in the past seems to count for nothing in the future. We feel like we are “babes in the woods,” greenhorns, rookies, trainees, nobodies.

Part of the capacity to change comes by being committed to a group of people who are themselves involved in change. But they are not dependent on surviving change under their own power. Instead they are committed to someone who does not change … tied into someone so big our global and personal changes can be handled without threat or loss.

That someone for me is Jesus. Who is it for you?

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”
[Hebrews 13:8]

What are some of the changes that have happened in the world that have made an impact on your life?

What would you like to see changed inside you?

Serenity for You! ~The Monty’man

Beauty the Promise of Happiness

I believe it was Stendhal who said “Beauty is the promise of happiness.”

Today I was reading a book called “Answers in the Heart” a daily meditation for men and women who are recovery from sexual addictions. In one of its chapters it read:

Often we are too busy or self-absorbed to notice what is beautiful in people & in the world around us. We hurry along focused on ourselves, inattentive to what really makes life worth living.

I couldn’t agree more.

The world is filled with beauty – twilight over a lake, a child’s laughter, a scene in a movie, the sun on a stone wall, a weeping willow, a lively song, our beloved’s face. If we are attentive & learn to slow down, we will see all around us signs of beauty that speak directly to us.

We do not have to go to exotic places to find beauty. It is here, in our lives, all around us. Finding it, we carry it with us & our lives are enriched. The language of beauty is the language of joy.

Application and Implementation

As I become more attentive to the beauty that is all around me, I find my life becoming happier & more deeply spiritual.

This week I will stop praying so hard for my character defects & difficulties to be removed. Instead I will rest in the fact that God has my life in His hands, if I will allow Him to carry me I can take the time to see His beauty all around me.
How can this not bring me a spirit of happiness?

This is Monty’man wishing Serenity For You!

Meetings are not the solution

Just as I go to church (A healthy one) to worship and honor the Lord, and be around people who have the same Higher Power as I do. Just as I go there to fellowship and be able to freely talk and share what Jesus has done for me, you know, give away what He has freely given me. Just as I must do that for my spiritual well being and to know my Higher Power better. Well it’s the same with the meetings for me. I go to show my gratitude for the founders and the old-timers. To be there for the New-comer just as I am in church to be there for the guy or gal who is there for the first time.

I go to meetings to give away my E, S and Hope. To carry the message and to learn, learn, learn.

I no longer go to meetings to get sober as I am sober. I go to meetings to be of service to my fellow addicts and as a result I get to stay clean. And to (at times) get some things out on the table when I am going through some pain that is tearing my heart apart. I don’t go into great detail (I do that with my sponsor) but I do let my home group know how I am feeling. That’s accountability.

Just as Church, is not the solution, neither are meetings. The steps are called steps because they lead to something. They are elements which make up a solution which leads to God who in the end is the answer.

Application and Implementation
This week I will be mindful of all the elements of my recovery. The Steps, the Traditions, the Books, The newcomers, old-timers, prayer, meditation, my sponsor, and accountability
I will make the choice to follow through with the application these elements. Having done all I can to apply this solution, I will implement the answer, Trusting God and then I will know serenity.

Burdens in Recovery

In recovery as well as life in general we must recognize the difference between burdens that are right for us to bear and burdens that are wrong. We should never bear the burdens of sin or doubt, but there are some burdens placed on us by our Higher Power, which he does not intend to lift off. God wants us to roll them back on him– to literally “cast your burden,” which he has given you, “on God….” If we set out to serve God and do his work, but get out of touch with him, the sense of responsibility we feel will be overwhelming and defeating. But if we will only roll back on God the burdens he has placed on us, he will take away the immense feeling of responsibility, replacing it with an awareness and understanding of himself and his presence.
Many of us set out to do service work, and serve God with great courage and with the right motives, but with no intimate relationship with our Higher Power, they are soon defeated. We will not know what to do with our burden and that produces weariness in our lives.
So cast your burden to God. You have been bearing it all, thinking that you have to be Mr. or Ms Recovery. You need to place one end of your burden on God’s shoulder. Commit to God whatever burden he has placed on you. Don’t just cast it aside, but put it over onto him and place yourself there with it. You will see that your burden is then lightened by the sense of companionship. But you should never try to separate yourself from your burden.
Remind yourself that the entire burden you have been carrying is not for you to bear.
Daily lay those burdens at the feet of the Master with total willingness to carry your part.
Consider it all joy when you face certain trails because and know that it is in difficulty we are made strong.

Serenity for You!
~The Monty’man

A Word About Marriage

Yesterday Marsha and I celebrated 20 years of marriage.
What an incredible gift from God to be joined as one with my best friend.
The following statement is from my point of view as a follower of Jesus Christ.
Some of you may not agree but it is my conviction and what I believe is true for this recovered narcotic and alcohol addict.

In the Bible, marriage is an institution in society that is of divine origin. It is governed by the laws of God and by the regulations of the society in which one lives to the extent that they do not conflict with the laws of God. A marriage may take place in a church building, and it is certainly in order for Christians to pray and ask God’s blessing on a marriage. But a marriage is not in and of itself a religious ceremony.

Nor is marriage a private agreement between a man and a women. This idea is often used as an excuse for unchastity before marriage. The argument is made: “Although we have not been officially married, we have agreed between ourselves to be married, so actually we are already married.” This idea is contrary to the Scriptures. In the Bible a marriage always takes place according to certain norms of society and always involves other people who serve as witnesses. A marriage is an occurrence before God and before man. As a Christian I am obligated to abide by the laws of the society in which I live to the extent that they do not conflict with the laws of God.

Twenty years ago I married my best friend. She is my first and only wife.

Marsha, you are truly my one and only! I Love You!
~Monty

Garbage in, Garbage out!

It’s too bad that we don’t grasp the “Garbage In, Garbage Out” philosophy more than we do. It appears that many of us have worked very hard to get where we are. Staying clean, service work, helping others, getting out of ourselves, becoming productive members of society again, etc. But allot of us wonder why we still struggle with some issues like depression, anger, loneliness, stress, and frustration.

When we entered recovery, when we turned our will and life over to the care of God, we realized that we had to change everything about ourselves in order to become healthy. We had no reservations about that. It was not negotiable. Not only had we been guilty of using drugs and alcohol, sex, food, etc., we also had been living in such a way as to contribute to those abuses. We didn’t get here by talking and hanging around healthy people, by spending quality and quantity time deep in spiritual thought or walking daily with our Higher Power—- On the contrary. Not only were we sticking alcohol in our liver, needles in our arms and THC in our lungs, but we were sticking garbage in our heads as well.

The music we listen to, the shows we watch, the books we read, and the people we hang out with, will dictate what kind of quality of life goes into your brain and also into your heart. It will also determine what comes out.
If demonic music is not to be taken seriously, if much of television isn’t about sex, if pornography isn’t about the abuse of women, then what are they about? Are they about healthy fun, or spiritual awareness? How about developing a deeper relationship with God? Do they contribute to your sobriety? Do they make you feel fulfilled and refreshed every day? Or are they full of negative, shaming, and degrading words, pictures, actions, and life styles. Do we look up to these people and organizations, networks and musicians with respect and admiration? Do they really have something healthy that we want? Come on folks, give yourself a break. Don’t sell yourself short by sticking garbage in your head; it really does nothing for your maturity and growth.

I suppose if you think that listening to songs, watching movies, reading books about Satan, rape, abuse, disobedience, hating your parents, free will without boundaries, sexual promiscuity, killing, death, and destruction is funny or encouraging, then go ahead, but your selling yourself short, and aren’t you worth more than that.

I was at a 12 Step meeting the other day when I saw some folks in the parking lot who also attended the meeting. They had their music turned up and what do you suppose the music was glorifying? The use and abuse of drugs. PLEASE, give me a break. They might as well have been standing up against the door of a dope house listening to the conversations of the folks inside who were consuming narcotics.

So ask yourself this. Are you having problems with your anger, yourself pity, your desire to use, your self esteem, etc.? Consider what you’re putting into your head. It might just be what is coming out of your mouth and back into your head again. Consider it.
Oh, if you don’t believe what you listen to affects your quality of life, then why do you attend meetings?
Serenity for You!
~Monty’man