Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

Here I stand. The meeting was supposed to start twenty-five minutes ago.
I am tempted to leave. I mean really, what is to be gained by me sitting around waiting for folks who are not coming anyway.
What a waste of coffee

I have a deep conviction about this issue. Some would say to stay 15 to 30 minutes and if no one comes go ahead and lock up.
I believe we should stay put! After all, we had planned to be there for the full meeting anyway. We are in service and committed 110%.

This would be a good time to work on a Step, to meditate and spend time alone with God. A time away from the kids and the noise of the world. This may be what God wants for you at that moment.

Most of us have seen newcomers as well as old-timers come into the last 15 minutes of the meeting. Are we there for them? I would hope so.
I believe with only a rare exception that if a meeting is in the schedule with the times clearly listed; that these times should be honored. Anything else would be a lie.

If we are to be honest, if we are to set a standard of integrity for the newcomers then it is imperative that we do what we say we will do. That we leave the doors open as the schedule is listed. Stores don’t close 30 minutes after they open if no customers come in. The county alcohol and drug treatment offices don’t close their doors early if no one comes when they open. Integrity demands we stick to the schedule and keep the rooms open until which time the meeting is scheduled to close.

I cannot express enough how important this is. I would never want my boredom to be the very thing that keeps someone from getting the help and support they need.

Help stamp out the lie that “This is a selfish program”
In addition, stick to the truth that “This is a selfless program.”

Besides, you will get to stay clean/sober for another hour and a half.

Blessings and Progress to All

Montyman

P. S. drink the coffee.

Beauty, the promise of happiness.

I believe it was Stendhal who said “Beauty is the promise of happiness.”

Today I was reading a book called “Answers in the Heart” a daily meditation for men and women who are recovery from sexual addictions. In one of its chapters it read:

Often we are too busy or self-absorbed to notice what is beautiful in people & in the world around us. We hurry along focused on ourselves, inattentive to what really makes life worth living.

I couldn’t agree more.

The world is filled with beauty – twilight over a lake, a child’s laughter, a scene in a movie, the sun on a stone wall, a weeping willow, a lively song, our beloved’s face. If we are attentive & learn to slow down, we will see all around us signs of beauty that speak directly to us.

We do not have to go to exotic places to find beauty. It is here, in our lives, all around us. Finding it, we carry it with us & our lives are enriched. The language of beauty is the language of joy.

Application and Implementation

As I become more attentive to the beauty that is all around me, I find my life becoming happier & more deeply spiritual.

This week I will stop praying so hard for my character defects & difficulties to be removed. Instead I will rest in the fact that God has my life in His hands, if I will allow Him to carry me I can take the time to see His beauty all around me.

How can this not bring me a spirit of happiness?

Until next time, Serenity for You!
~The Monty’man

Fixing Others

Fixing Others

We all have those moments when we are completely convinced that we can fix someone and turn them into the person we want them to be. This often starts out with good intentions but invariably turns on us and we begin a process of building a resentment towards those who seemingly will not change.

Though we know that God is the only one that can truly change a person’s heart, we insist on coming to His rescue and instead we get in His way.

When will we ever learn? It’s a continual learning process to master the art of not trying to control others. We must, as the Apostle Paul says “Die to ourselves daily”.

It is only when we place ourselves at the feet of our God that we begin to apply the true humility that is required to love another.

It will save us much grief if we will learn to put aside our own expectations of people and wake up to the fact that we are powerless over the choices they make.

When we learn to “apply these principles in all our affairs” it will always helps us see each other through the eyes of a loving God rather than the eyes of our selfish, controlling nature.

However, if one does insist on attempting control of other people, here are the 12 Steps to do so, but beware of the consequences. It just may drive you insane.

Here’s some food for thought.

The 12 Steps to Total and Complete Insanity

1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing. We could manage our lives perfectly and we could manage those of anyone else that would allow it.

2. Came to believe that there was no power greater than ourselves, and the rest of the world was insane.

3. Made a decision to have our loved ones and friends turn their wills and their lives over to our care.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of everyone we knew.

5. Admitted to the whole world at large the exact nature of their wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to make others straighten up and do right.

7. Demanded others to either “shape up or ship out”.
8. Made a list of anyone who had ever harmed us and became willing to go to any lengths to get even with them all.

9. Got direct revenge on such people whenever possible except when to do so would cost us our own lives, or at the very least, a jail sentence.

10. Continued to take inventory of others, and when they were wrong promptly and repeatedly told them about it.

11. Sought through nagging to improve our relations with others as we couldn’t understand them at all, asking only that they knuckle under and do things our way.

12. Having had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown as a result of these steps, we tried to blame it on others and to get sympathy and pity in all our affairs.

Meditation:
Dear God, as I sit here with my mind and heart focused on you, I receive your love in my life. I receive your forgiveness and grace and let your spirit and all your attributes flow through me so I may learn to become more aware of my own character defects and less critical of others. I now allow your spirit of compassion to reign in my acts of helpfulness. I listen for your direction and yours alone.

Confidence

The monk and poet Thomas Merton penned these words:

“My God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me, I cannot know for certain where it will end … but I will not fear, for you are ever with me.”

If self-esteem means confidence & confidence means being sure about what’s going to happen, then we’re all out of luck in the self-esteem department. None of us knows the answers to much of the important questions in life. If that fact makes us terribly insecure, we’re going to be in for a whole lot of fear, worry & anxiety.

The truly confident person knows that life is much more of a process & a journey than a matter of answers & destinations. It is one thing not to know where the road leads—but quite another to be paralyzed because we don’t know. If the open road makes us too frightened & insecure, we will probably miss all the lovely scenery along the way. And we won’t learn the lessons of the journey.

Confidence arises from God’s grace, not circumstances. Just because the road is uncertain doesn’t mean that we are. If we will get out of God’s way and allow Him to walk ahead of us, we will have all the security we need.

Confidence in God turns insecurity into trust.

Serenity for You.
~Monty’man

Branded (We All Bare a Mark)

When people look at you what do they see? Do they see a person who is full of themselves or do they see the love and compassion of God. What brand are you wearing and who do you belong to? Do you belong to the world or do you belong to the creator? Be assured we will carry the mark of one or the other.

These are questions I have had to ask myself. We all have a mark. –But we choose what mark we have. If a man is self centered he holds the mark of selfishness. If a man is self-righteous he holds the mark of the Pharisee. If a man serves the world and not God he holds the mark of disobedience, but if a man follows the love of God he shines with the mark of God.

What does God’s mark look like.
His mark is patient, kind, long suffering, slow to anger, it does not envy, it is not prideful or seeks it’s own way. His mark does not keep a record of wrongs but indures all things. When you carry God’s mark you have the best interest of others, (even those that don’t agree with you) at heart.

What do others see in us? What do we have that they want? Are we determined to honor God and our fellows, or is it all about us?

If we choose to hold the mark of anything other than the love of our Higher Power, then we are deceived and there is no good in us.

There is only one God, but there are many marks. Which one will you choose today? What identifies you? Who do you really belong to? Something to pounder isn’t it?

A prayer.
I will live what I believe. I will walk the talk and talk the walk. I will show others the truth of who God is by my actions as well as my words. I will hold my releationship with God close and personal but never private for that would be selfish.

Today I choose to no longer belong to myself but today I turn my will and my life over to God as He understands me. Today I am branded with the mark of His love for all people. Amen

Until next time this is the Monty’man wishing God’s Perfect Serenity for You!
~The Monty’man

Walking Through the Big Book is Here.

Take12Radio.com and KHLT Recovery Broadcasting has produced a line by line and page by page 34 hour audio DVD of this study of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and know you will want to get your copy as soon as possible.
We don’t believe there has ever been such a detailed and thorough workshop of the Big Book.

Travel with Chris Schroeder and Monty Meyer as they: Introduce you to the founders and participants of early AA.
Meet the men and women of AA and hear their stories that you may have never heard before.

Learn the true intentions of those who carried this spiritual message of recovery.
The reasons why AA’s success rate was so very high.
Travel back to Akron and New York and learn the difference between two.

Your eyes will be open like never before to a fellowship of the Spirit and the spirit of the fellowship.

About Chris Schroeder:

Chris Schroeder is the Director of Media for C4 Recovery Solutions. In his role with C4, he has been tasked with hosting and developing the webcast show, The Afflicted and Affected, interviewing leaders in the addictive illness field and other interesting personalities revolving around the recovery world. Chris comes into contact with those who research and apply the latest methods of treatment and those who are a force in positive change in outcomes and funding both politically and in the media.

Chris has been a host of various TV and Radio Shows. He has been active lecturing at recovery centers, correctional facilities and graduate schools over the past 17 years promoting the abstinence/12 step processes. Chris is an internationally known speaker who has a great passion for helping those afflicted with alcoholism and drug addiction. Chris has worked in management of educational facilities since 1991. Chris is a co-founder of the organization “A National Association of Recovered Alcoholics and Addicts”.
___________________________________________________________
To get your DVD of Walking Thjrough the Big Book visit:
http://take12radio.com/wtb.html

Response to John A

Ebbie actually spoke those words on one of his speaker tapes years ago.
And as far as the God issue. if you read my post on “Other Peoples Higher Power” I would never try and force anyone into believing what I believe.
When I sponsor folks they know I am a Christian, but they have to develop their own relationship with God as they grow in understanding. I don’t try and convert anyone. that’s God’s job.
I really appricate your comment and hope you continue to read the blog.

Swerenity for You!
~Monty’man

God Either Is Or He Isn’t

At some point in our recovery we all will come face to face with the truth about God. Who He is, His will for us and if we are going to answer His call to a personal relationship.
according to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous its main purpose is to show the alcoholic precisely how to recover.
How did we recovery? According to the Big Book we recovered by the power of a loving God, the Creator, Father of Lights, our Heavenly Father, the God of the Preachers.

Now we can all disagree with the Big Book, but it says what it says.
I believe when living the program of AA we follow the instruction in the Big Book. At some point that would suggest that we come to a personal walk and relationship with Christ. Not a Christ of religion and law but a Christ of relationship and love.

If Jesus was good enough for the founders and the hundreds of early members then He’s good enough for me!

This doesn’t mean people can follow other gods, idols, even self. I just don’t see the Big Book speaking about those. Remember, when Ebby T was suggesting that Bill try his own conception of God he was speaking out of frustration.

Differnt Higher Powers?

At a convention some years ago I was asked this question:

How do you feel about people in 12 Step fellowships with different Higher Powers than yourself?

Simple, it’s their choice and their right within the program to believe as they will. God is a gentleman, and never forces Himself on anybody. As a follower of Christ, and a man wishing to do His will, then I must not force my belief system on anyone either.

The Personal relationship I have with Jesus Christ is available to all who seek him, but an individual has to seek for himself without being Bible thumped. I have a very strong conviction about my Higher Power. Folks know that, because if a person doesn’t believe that his/her Higher Power is the Higher Power then how do they trust that Higher Power as their Higher Power. If they don’t believe that without reservation, then they best get another Higher Power. But one must remember that many folks are still searching and they should never be judged or shamed. Some folks when they first come in to recovery use their group as their Higher Power. It’s not that the folks in the group are a power greater than themselves, but that collectively the bond that is formed between a group of people that have the same focus and desire can be so powerful that it can change and save lives. If I don’t believe that my Home Group is the best Home Group I could belong to, then I had better find another Home Group. -But newcomers are searching that out as well.

It’s all a process of progress. Something we certainly didn’t have when we were out running on self will run riot. WOW, that was a mouth full. It’s not my place to judge peoples choices. The Apostle Paul in the New Testament says…

“…you should not dis-associate yourself with the world or judge those who don’t believe and act like we do. In that case you would have to leave this world, but you should judge yourselves and make yourselves accountable to one another.”

1 Cor. 5:9-11

We should never judge or shame someone for having a different faith than we do. We hold to our convictions without apology, but we give others the same tolerance and respect we would expect from them. In this way the truth of the Lord will shine bright, He will do His work as we step out of the way. Trust God and Love People should forever be our focus.

Wishing God’s Perfect Serenity for You!
~The Monty’man

There Are No Normies?

That’s right. There are no normies, or are there?

Everyone has something that wants to take them down. It could be shopping addiction, an eating disorder, gossip, and a host of other things.

I once knew a lady that bit her fingernails till they bled. It was a terrible compulsion, but it controlled her. She was indeed powerless over it.

I would venture to say that there is no person on the face of the earth that doesn’t struggle with some sort of compulsive behaviour regardless how minor.

I guess if normies do exist we are all normies in one way or another.

I myself have no idea what that poor women who bites her fingers is going through. I don’t know what’s it like to survive cancer. In fact I have never even had a broken bone in my body, knock on wood. So it might be said that I am a normie in those areas.

So are their normies or aren’t there?  Well if I want to keep it simple, who cares right? If they do exist lets stop putting them in a category that makes us better than them. it’s really petty.

Also don’t forget to check out my new post on our You Tube page. http://youtube.com/montymeyer

Serenity for You!

~The Monty’man