Archive for May, 2014


Dealin With Mockers

Ever met someone who no matter what you said, did or thought, they would attack you. They would criticize and mock you?
I have, but it has been a few years since the last attack on my character, that is until the last few days.

Years ago in High School I came across a poem entitled “The Law of Life”. The poem depicted a tree that when left to its own devices with no support from other trees would wither up and die. The poem meant allot to myself and a few other friends. One such friend from High School requested that I send her a copy of the poem. So, I obliged her and posted it on her social media page. Had I known the chaos that was about to take place I would never had posted it.

Well, we have all seen how mean, cruel and vicious some people can be on social media sites, and for the most part it’s over controversial issues, or political positions of which some can be very passionate.

In this case the slaughter began over the content in the poem.
It started out by an attack on the poems inaccuracy in describing how a tree left to its own could possibly become unhealthy. I was informed that the poem had lost all meaning because it was technically inaccurate in its description of the tree.
When I responded by stating that perhaps people were missing the point of the poem I was further attacked by a man who suggested that I was being inappropriate by sending a married women a romantic poem. Obviously the poem had no romantic qualities in it what so ever, but had this individual read the poem he would have known that. This is what the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous refers to as “Contempt Prior to Investigation”.
Unfortunately there are people who wake up in the morning with a chip on their shoulder ready to take on anyone who disagrees with them, or even has a different perspective on any given issue. They are right fighters. Claiming to their so-called right to be all knowing and all powerful. The sad truth is, they tend to be very unhappy folk that desire nothing more than to suck the joy out of others. They are what the poet Robert Service referred to as Emotional Vampires. The Bible calls these people “Mockers”.

So what can a person do when we encounter such unfortunates?
The Good Book suggest that we Bless those who persecute us; that we do not allow ourselves to be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Sounds like great advice but just how do we go about doing that?
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous give one of the best directions I have ever read on a clear method of handling just such people that offend us. The following come from page 66 and 67 of the third edition.

“This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, “This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.”
We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn’t treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.”

Now, I have to admit, in this particular circumstance my own flesh began to raise up and defend itself, but I had to stop, retreat and disengage from the insanity that was theirs and theirs alone. I left the conversation and choose not to return. Sometimes the only healthy decision has to be one of separating ourselves from the toxic discourse that seeks to destroy us. What is most helpful for me is to remember that phrase “They like ourselves, were sick too.” That helps me see all involved on the level playing field we are truly on. I am no better than they and they no better than I.

So today I ask God to help me from being angry, and to show me how I can be helpful. Today’s answer came with a clear message. “Walk Away”

Until next time this is the Monty’man wishing God’s perfect serenity for you!


Choosing Wisdom in Recovery

In the 28 plus years I have been attending recovery support meetings I have heard hundreds of platitudes spouted as solutions to many of our issues as people of recovery.
The dictionary’s definition of a platitude is: a flat, dull, or trite remark, especially one uttered as if it were fresh or profound. Egads, that doesn’t sound like much of a solution to me.

Now at the risk of sounding like I’m spouting yet another platitude I want you to consider as I did this absolute gem I picked up while listening to a well-respected speaker share on his view of proper decision making.

Most of us have heard the statement “Just do the next right thing” and though I have always felt that was a good suggestion it always seemed a bit empty to me.

I mean depending on our own personal life experiences what is right for you may not be right for me.

So here is what the speaker shared with some of us just a few weeks ago that I think if you really listen to the words, you will be able to understand as I have how much better this suggestion is than “Just do the next right thing”

So here it is:

Before you act ask yourself
In light of my past experience, My Current Circumstances and My Future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for me to do?

Let me repeat that

Before you act ask yourself
In light of my past experience, My Current Circumstances and My Future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for me to do?

Notice we are not asking ourselves what is the right thing, the good thing or even the fair thing, what we are asking is what6 is the wise thing for us to do?

Something can be perfectly alright but not the best choice, something can be fair but not balanced, and something can good but not good for us.

So before you make that next financial investment, that leap into a new relationship or quit your job, or a host of other decisions you are about to make, why not be bold enough to ask the question:

In light of my past experience, My Current Circumstances and My Future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for me to do? It might just save you a world of heart ache.

Until next time this is the Monty’man wishing God’s perfect Serenity for You!

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